Made a silly gif. :3*headpats*
Beauty and the Beast AU - Part 1
(This was posted two weeks ago on Patreon and part 2 of this will be posted today there. Thanks for your support!)
When a customer says some Weird Shit in the middle of check-out,

Okay, so very recently, I was cashiering for Publix, and it was late at night, and I actually didn’t wanna be there, go figure. So this woman walks up, buying about 15-20 items, which is a pretty clean run for me, so I’m scanning her groceries, and we carry a small conversation.
During this conversation, she asks me if I’m in school, and I say yes. I tell her about how exams went, as they were near that period, and told her I had a Biology exam that was over genetics. And she looks me straight in the eyes, with seriousness of a heart attack being read in every wrinkle of her white soccer mom face, and says: “Oh, I’m a Christian, I don’t believe in genetics.”
Flabbergasted. My eyes do that spinny rainbow thing that Apple computers do when theyre buffering. A second goes by. I’ve gone through all stages of grief at this point, but haven’t reached acceptance. I have to say something, I have to say SOMETHING. If I just stare at her through this, she’ll know I think she’s fucking dumb and she might get angry, and I don’t need that. Two seconds have gone by. I have stopped scanning groceries at this point, and am just being violently shot back and forth between two sections of the galaxy. I can feel my body taking leave of my soul. Three seconds. I have to say something.
“Anyway, I did well on my accounting exam, so that’s something. Do you have any coupons?”
Sayori: Oh, you girls are back! Hm? And Monika?
Natsuki: She jumped off the roof to prove a point she was wrong about.
Sayori: …well, it was about time we finished punching that hospital card, I guess.
The Fanmade Touhou LINE Stamps project has gifted Renko Usami, the Western Touhou Fandom, and everyone else in the world with “Maelibery harness”, which is, quite frankly, the best Romanization of her name to date and the one I hope becomes canon.
Takiya: “What if we’re still doing this when we’re fifty?”
Kobayashi: “It would be nice to have that kind of job security.”